Friday, June 30, 2006

I had a great opportunity that has literally been years in the making. For at least the last 6-7 years I have been wanting a good opportunity to apologize to a friend who I knew I had hurt about 9-10 years ago. I'm not going to get into the details cause #1 they are embarrassing and #2 they are none of your business.

For a couple of years I justified what I had said and what I had did based upon my view of the way she had acted. After a few years of nearly no contact and a few years of the maturing process of the Holy Spirit in my life, I began to realize that it was true she wasn't perfect in the situation, but I was the root of the problem. Period.

So it has been 6 or 7 years of thinking about it every now and then. Like I said, it has not been a situation where I run into her frequently or anything like that. I’m sure we’ve seen each other just a handful of times in the last 6-7 years and they have almost all been at events that where just not conducive to such a talk. Today I did run into her and it was the perfect situation for such a talk. Those few times I've run into her she has always been nice and friendly...but different and a tad distant. I could have lived with that I guess had the Holy Spirit not been convicting on my heart every time I ran into her the last several years. It's not like she was an ex-girl friend or anything like that. She was just a buddy from youth group. Anyway, I knew that today was my day and that I was not to wait another before apologizing.

So my apology came, 9 years late, but I asked her if she had just a second. She smiled and said, "sure". I think I shocked her pretty good when I said, "______, I just want you to know that I am sorry for all that stuff that happened and was said back then..." The look on her face was a look of pleasant surprise, which sort of surprised me actually. I was surprised at how her face took on almost a look of relief or something, like it really meant something to her. She was so quick to forgive me and she thanked me for asking to be forgiven. She had thought that I thought I had either done nothing wrong or was at least justified in what I had done and said. I then apologized for not apologizing sooner, like at least 6 or 7 years ago! She said it was "water under the bridge", which made me feel really good. I am still surprised how much better that made me feel. That wall seemed to almost completely break down and she showed me some pics of her baby and talked about her and her husband and stuff. It was so cool and man do I feel better.

Have you ever approached someone you know you either screwed over, said something horrible to or just plain hurt? Think back, did you ever cheat on a boyfriend or girlfriend? Did you ever call your sister "fat", your brother "retarded" or anything like that? Have you ever actually apologized to that person? If you could, if you saw them at Wal-Mart or something, would you?

Try it. I'm telling you from about 5 years of experience (this girl is the not the first person I have intentionally approached and apologized too...I was a real jerk for a few years there I guess!), it will mean far more to that person then you'll ever know. And it will lift something off of you that you probably don't even know is there.

He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 28:13 niv

1 comment:

Barb said...

That is great that you were able to do this. What a victory in Jesus!